haibarasan ([info]haibarasan) wrote,
@ 2007-10-02 22:05:00
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Current location:My thinking chair
Current mood: sleepy
Current music:It's my life by Bon Jovi--strangely, he's in my head.
Entry tags:jet, thinking out loud

R~O~C~K~S
Hanazakari no Kimitachi he was good. Maybe we'll see a special sometime soon. It had one of those, "Oh. There's more." endings. I enjoyed it, rather. I would make a comment about it, but it might spoil it a little. So I'll wait until I know that everyone's watched it all before I say anything.

Mmm...Last weekend's Aki Matsuri (Autumn Festival) was nice. We had less ladies helping to carry the mini-shrine (o-mikoshi) than last year, and you could definitely feel it. However, there was a misty rain drizzling throughout the afternoon as we walked and turned and pushed, so it wasn't as sweaty and hot a job as last year. I heard that we only had sixteen ladies on board this year, compared to the twenty-three we had the year before.

I couldn't believe how quickly I'd gotten used to being a part of island events. This time last year, I was all timid and allowed myself to be led all around the festival once we finished the hauling and went back to eat our free lunch. This year, I was perfectly okay with walking around on my own (though I didn't do much of it--I was quickly snagged by Sanae-san as we waited to for the dance the 3-4 Neighborhood Blocks to begin.) Yes, I did that, too. I even went to dance practice twice with the ladies, at the behest of Sanae-san (she's one of my English Conversation students). She's in her 50s or 60s. I love her. Not so much with most of the other students in the class. What? They come when they want. And that's not very often. It's so...so rude. I hold grudges, even if I can't hold on to the anger for very long.

I figured out what was wrong with me all last week. I was suffering from PMS, and this made my reactions to bullshit very strong. This explains why my eyes flared out at students who refused to try during group sessions in class ("You're telling me that you, a ninth grader, can't translate, 'Do you like flowers?' If you don't understand what's going on, why the hell are you in this class? Just leave."--those were just my irrational thoughts. Hope I didn't scare ya.). This also explains why I didn't find it funny that two of the boys in a different ninth grade class had a heck of a time putting pencils in these humongous pockets that the jacket I wore that day had. I stared at them all stone-faced. they were a little frightened. I made the ringleader mad. He called me a boy. lol (I, of course, responded so maturely and called him a girl. lol At least he used English.)

Damn, I was irrational last week. Up until Monday, I was the biggest cow. This one lady, Etsuko, who's my cooking teacher and local know-it-all, has this grating personality that peppered with niceness that really irks me at times. I know (looking back--hindsight is 20/20, you see) that she says shit to try to be funny. But I don't find it amusing when it's making fun of people's weight or their body type or even their boobs (thankfully, she has yet to wax lyrical about mine). She was out of the line with her lame-ass jokes this week, but everything about her grated my nerves, so I know that at lot of my anger at her stemmed from my high level of irrationality. But she can still be a big cow. She didn't say anything too hurtful at today's lesson. Just insulted my decorative squirting of mayonnaise as commanded. And she demanded that I apologize to Satomi-san, the nursery school teacher who takes lessons with me (thank the Lord for her and her ability of keep up conversation at the dinner table). If Etsuko-san had asked me to tell Satomi about the change in schedule, I would have. However, she didn't, and I didn't think about it. So we had the lesson today instead of tomorrow. Oh, well. No one was hurt.

But other than that, she was on good behavior. I think she noticed that I was in a foul mood last week. Good. Keeps her on her toes.

Ahh, shoot. I'll write again another day. I'm going to visit my host family for the first time in about two months this weekend. I wonder how they've changed...



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[info]geishaarmy
2007-10-04 04:43 am UTC (link)
it's okay to be moody and irrational sometimes. i laughed out loud when i read your reply to the 9th grader who called you a boy. that was a classic response. you are awesome, jachan!

it sounds like it was in your favor to display your bad mood to etsuko-san. maybe she now realizes there is a boundary around you and now she can learn to respect it. you're all good. i wouldn't worry too much about her.

and i hope you have fun with the host family!

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[info]haibarasan
2007-10-04 10:13 am UTC (link)
Thanks, Malia. I'm a Boundary Maker. I like it. It's better to say your displeasure about stuff here instead of relying on your expression to speak for you. Because apparently people are rather dense when it comes to knowing when they've crossed a line. I don't want to become a puppet and follow someone's orders thoughtlessly. Not verbally responding to crap people say to me that's I don't appreciate is not the way to go, since they'll think they can keep right on saying it. Lilly hammered that point home for me. (Thanks again, Lilly!) I'm learning to push back. I'll get some guts yet. That I will.

I hope I have fun with everyone in my Ushita Honmachi home, too! I should probably pack a bag soon... ^^;

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[info]beimprobable
2007-10-04 08:09 am UTC (link)
Oh, is that why? I still think you're justified in quite a bit of those situations though, especially the evil woman. Even if she meant them to be jokes, I don't think they were very funny jokes. I think they were insulting.

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[info]haibarasan
2007-10-04 10:04 am UTC (link)
They are insulting. She is insulting. But I think she seemed on better behavior than usual this week. And maybe, in return, I showed more negative reactions to what she said that I didn't appreciate/like. lol (I was commanded to make folds in origami paper a certain [Etsuko/Japanese] way, and I responded that no matter now I pressed the paper along the edge, wouldn't the result be the same? I got a snort from my fellow cooking student, Satomi-san.) I felt a bit like a brat, but I also felt a little empowered. I guess this is what assertiveness is like.

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